Things we say

brain_damage · #1 (**permalink**) 10-05-2005, 12:24 AM

have you ever said anything in public (not rude) and got funny looks or made someone laugh??

I can remember many years ago when I was in hospital and a young nurse came in ...........I said as she approached "hiya didn't recognise you with your clothes on" got a few funny looks then ( she wasn't wearing her uniform) what is about nurses ???

In a shop getting stuff for a veg casserole when Irene (wife) shouts out "do you want a leek" quick as a flash I said " no ta went to the loo before I came out" this poor girl standing next to Irene burst out laughing and when she saw me in the checkout looked at me and started to laugh.

going in to a shop and asking the young lady if she had a front fastening bra......then adding not you personally..after they've gone red faced

are you suprised why my family dont like shopping with me ?

CLEVER_LOGIN_NAME · #2 (**permalink**) 10-05-2005, 01:56 AM

True Story,

I needed to get fitted for a tux for a friends wedding. Not long after finding this out I was out on a walk, and came across a small Bridal Dress shop. I thought it couldn't hurt to pop in and ask “Would they measure me for a tuxedo". That’s all I had to say...

I walk on in, to the sight of several very attractive, very healthy, very young ladies at different stages of trying on various pastel dresses. As the damned bell above the door loudly announced my entrance, they froze, then turned to look at the silly man that had just invaded a woman’s most holy sanctuary, a Bridal Dress Shop. Well, this was more than enough of a distraction to discombobulate any thoughts I might think I own, and to my dismay someone asked me a question. “May I help you?” said a stately woman who was stationed just out of my peripheral vision. Trying to end this pain as fast as humanly possible I turned to her and said “Do you fit for gentlemen?”

In half a second, I received an eyebrow raise from the Hostess, smirks from the ladies, and my brain is screaming “YOU SOUND LIKE A PERVERT!”
“Oh... Do you fit men... I mean...or umm take their measurements?”

One half second passes... Now the Hostess looks confused and slightly horrified, bigger smirks from the ladies, and my brain is screaming “YOU ARE IN A DRESS SHOP!”
“No... Uh do you measure men for wedding........Tuxedos?

Now our fine Hostess has a large grin and her face looks some what relieved. In a very gentle voice (like she was talking to a lost puppy) she says “No, no we don’t.”

I spin around yank the door open and in one breath say “Okaythankyouverymuchsorrytointerrupt.”

As I stepped out all I could hear was giggling.

AphJN · #3 (**permalink**) 10-05-2005, 02:53 AM

Too horribly true...

When I found out my wife was pregnant after we had gotten married..I was soo proud for leading up to the wedding and the subsequent pregnancy I had stated very boisterously and defiant that I can engineer my wife's pregnancy down to the hour... Ok, you gentlement in the rear can stop gigling now.

Right after I found out I was on the phone with my dad. I happened to be walking through a shopping mall at the time when I told my dad quite innocently that beth was pregnant and I had done it ALL BY MY SELF!

Well, I guess I was a bit loud because the entire food court stopped talking and looked at me...Ooopps. I couldnt run, couldnt hide, so I just went on walking and talking like nothing had happened. Later, on the elevator to the lower level some old lady leaned over to me and said "You know, I thought a man your age knew about the birds and the bees by now..."

I didnt make that mistake with my son...I guess I did grow wiser with age!