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Joke....
A typical English 30 something, Ronnie, having split from his latest
girlfriend, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean
cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the
ship sank.
Ronnie found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, Ronnie asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get
here?"
She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here
when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw
material I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I
wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the
island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I
fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile
iron.
I
used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
Ronnie is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As Ronnie looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a
stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While
the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, Ronnie
can only stare ahead, dumb struck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much but I
call it
home.
Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," Ronnie blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take
another drop of coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still.How would you
like a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, Ronnie accepts, and they sit
down on
her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going
to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower
and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, Ronnie goes into the bathroom. There, in
the
cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to
a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel
mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to
sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely.
There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now,
something you've been longing for?" She stares into his eyes .
Ronnie can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . "
(he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.)
"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports as well"
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