Regarding the router configuration, I'm having similar difficulties since starting to set up my new 3COM wireless router, having got some info for my BT Broadband connection off of the support section on BT's web site. If you can't find the info that you need on AOL's web site, call their tech support number and they'll be able to give you all of the details that you need.
Regarding the network card configuration, are you sure that there's only one setup or diagnostics program on the CD? It might be that you're running the wrong one and it's looking for different types of network cards to the one that you've fitted.
Check in Device Manager (right-click on My Computer and select Properties from the menu, then go to the Hardware tab) to see if the network card is being reported as having a problem.
Run IPCONFIG to make sure that Windows is giving your network card the IP address that you think it should be. You can do this by clicking the Start Menu > Run and type
CMD, then click OK. When the Command Prompt window opens, type
IPCONFIG /ALL.
Does the router have DCHP server capabilities? If so, it will be able to assign the IP address itself - this could be less problematic.
Are you sure that you're using the right IP address range? I had expected my router to have an IP of 192.168.0.1 but, in fact, it was 192.168.
1.1 - a small but important difference.
Hope that helps - let us know how you get on